Send Out Cards

Last weeks post was my August 2015 interview with Washingtonian Magazine on the topic of guidelines for letting your neighbors know your plan to teach your child to sleep. Many people shy away from a straightforward conversation regarding their children and parenting choices for fear they will be judged, however that judgmental voice is usually just our own voice and can cause us to make un-clear decisions. An honest approach is always best, being vulnerable instead of defensive opens the door to possibility and real connection and possibly a new lifelong friend.

My motto is be creative and personal in your communication. Honesty + a token of appreciation (think brownies or cookies) + and a little informational note can go a long way. Many of my clients ask for guidance on the best way to approach their neighbors. I am thrilled to introduce you to what I feel to be one of the easiest ways to accomplish this task, even when sleep deprived (before you work with Little Sleepers!).

With the help of my dear friend Jules Price, I now direct my clients to an simple solution. Jules introduced me to her amazing company and showed me just how easy it is to create a beautiful personalized card. With Send Out Cards you can create the perfect "I am sleep training my child, please be patient with us " card, personalized with your baby's photo, a note in your own handwriting and the best brownies and cookies that arrive in a beautiful little wrapped package. Making a card is easy. These cards and treats are a wonderful way to thank caregivers, friends and grandparents too. Send Out Cards is a great service to have at your fingertips, and you just pay for what you send out. Send cards and gifts through the real mail, right from your computer or phone. 

For more details, or a free demo, contact Jules at 941.536.0328 or jules@julesprice.com or visit www.appreciationpros.com

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Center For Growing Families

  Our Philosophy There are many parenting centers that educate about strategies and techniques for raising children, where much thought is given to the emotional needs of the child. However, there are few centers that address the inner world of the parent, who may be facing a number of personal difficulties. While we realize that a certain degree of self-sacrifice is inherent in the parenting process, we do not believe that a mother’s or father’s emotional experience should be disregarded. Healthy and emotionally balanced parents are necessary ingredients for healthy and emotionally balanced families.  We believe that speaking with a trained professional, who understands the many factors of parenting, can help individuals and couples identify and work through complex feelings and challenges. This process allows for healing, problem solving, and the forging of new personal and familial identities.

 

Our Philosophy

There are many parenting centers that educate about strategies and techniques for raising children, where much thought is given to the emotional needs of the child. However, there are few centers that address the inner world of the parent, who may be facing a number of personal difficulties. While we realize that a certain degree of self-sacrifice is inherent in the parenting process, we do not believe that a mother’s or father’s emotional experience should be disregarded. Healthy and emotionally balanced parents are necessary ingredients for healthy and emotionally balanced families. 

We believe that speaking with a trained professional, who understands the many factors of parenting, can help individuals and couples identify and work through complex feelings and challenges. This process allows for healing, problem solving, and the forging of new personal and familial identities.

http://centerforgrowingfamilies.com

The transition to parenthood is an amazing journey that comes with a host of rewarding and yet challenging life lessons. So often I work with parents that not only need to get their family sleeping through the night, but that need support to help in this life transition. I am a firm believer that reaching out, asking for support can only be beneficial and aid in the growth of who we are and what we can bring to our parenting. So often I hear parents tell me that they live far away from family. My advise is always, build yourself a "Dream Team". Create a safe and nurturing environment for yourself to get the care and support you need and deserve. The care you give to yourself can only be positive and beneficial to your children and to your family. I am often asked "Where can I find that support?".

It is with great pleasure that I introduce two wonderful women and psychotherapists Kimberly Satin Kubler and Aliza Lerner, co-directers for Center for Growing Families.

Kimberly Satin Kubler, LCSW-C, LICSW, has been practicing psychotherapy since 1995. In addition to co-directling and providing psychotherapy at the Center for Growing Families, she maintains a general, private psychotherapy practice. As a Parent and Community Education (PACE) leader, Kimberly runs new mother support groups throughout the Washington, DC, metropolitan area. 

Aliza Lerner, LCSW-C, psychotherapist and co-director of the Center for Growing Families, has been in practice since 1992. She provides psychotherapy for adults, focusing on relationship issues, loss and grief, anxiety, depression, and parenthood. 
 

In addition to Little Sleepers offices, I am pleased to announce that I am currently seeing families at this new location. 

Sleep & Self-Blame

This morning I received a phone call from a lovely, weepy, sleep-deprived mother. She contacted me at 3:00 AM via email and asked if we could please speak at a decent acceptable hour. With a middle of the night email such as this one, I know that the sender has clearly hit a sleep-deprivation wall. The next day I called her. She filled me in on all the sleep issues her daughter was having. As she spoke to me, her story unfolded.

This mother told me that she is a Harvard Graduate, was a partner at a law firm pre-child, she has read at least five sleep books, spoken in depth to her child's pediatrician and still, she cannot figure out how to solve her problem. She continued to tell me about all the mistakes she knows she has made as a parent, she knows she should not have done "this or that", she knows she created all the problems and she blames herself for all she has done wrong.

At this point in our conversation I have an impulse to reach my hand deep down into the dark ditch she has thrown herself into and tell her one thing, she is not alone. This phone call pulls  at my heart. It is the "I'm not good enough" confession call. The story of "I'm not good enough" is a collective wound we all know so well as parents. The issue is that we actually believe this small voice whispering this un-true story.

  • I made so many mistakes
  • I should not have done 
  • I should have done 
  • I know I created the problem
  • It's my fault
  • I could have
  • I didn't
  • I wish I had

Not a day goes by without me hearing stories riddled with these phrases from tired parents.  The stories are a string of un-truths we tell, to convince ourselves we are not good enough. This self-blaming storytelling keeps us on a wheel, stuck and spinning into nowhere. It is easy when we feel out of control, in a tough parenting situation, to fall into the trap of thinking you are not a good enough parent. However, this is just not true.

We are all just doing the best we can. We bring our own history and our own ideas to our parenting. We have ideas of how we want things to be and to go, and when life does not go exactly as we had planned or imagined it to be, we feel afraid. It is ok to feel afraid. What becomes the tricky part of fear is self-blame. If you find yourself feeling alone and stuck and in a place of blame, it is a good idea to pause. Reach out to a friend, reach out to a professional. Begin to create a support system for yourself. Be brave enough to ask for what you need. Be brave enough to say I don't know. Is this not the message we tell our children daily? So if it is a good enough message to tell our children, it seems to be a good enough message to tell ourselves.